


Dog Tags

by Little_miss_laughs_alot



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky isn't actually in this story, He just doesn't know the politically accurate words for today, He's just talked about a lot, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve is not homophobic, steve and Bucky are tragic, unintentional slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 19:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4972999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_miss_laughs_alot/pseuds/Little_miss_laughs_alot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which dog tags are basically engagement rings, and the team discovers things about Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dog Tags

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first story on ao3. You can find my other work on ff.n at little-miss-laughs-alot 
> 
> I'm mainly trying to get back into the swing of writing, so don't judge this too hard. If it gets a good response, I may continue it into a series, but who knows? 
> 
> Let me know if there's any gaping errors or plot holes that I should fix. Please comment! I thrive on feedback!
> 
> Also, I totally picked a random address for them to have lived at, so if that's a big error, let me know.

It had been a disturbingly quiet day for the Avengers. So of course, it couldn't last. Clint’s head whipped around at the sound of breaking glass.

  
“What the hell?” Tony demanded of Steve, whose hand was still outstretched as though he was still holding the glass of water now shattered on the floor. Steve didn’t appear to notice, staring in blank shock at something behind them. Clint looked behind himself to see what had startled the other man, but saw nothing but the tv, playing some random show that everyone was too lazy to turn off.

 

“Cap, what’s wrong?” Clint questioned, but Steve didn’t respond, his breath coming quickly.

 

“Rogers, what happened?” To an outsider, Natasha would sound calm, but Clint could detect the hint of worry in her voice. Steve stared blankly at the tv.

 

“Look Capsicle, I know that the whole television thing was a bit of a shock to your system, but really, you’ve been here for a few months now. I’d think you’d be a bit used to it by now.” That, of all things, is what seemed to break through Steve’s fog. He blinked and slowly looked down at the puddle of glass and water on the ground, then at his hand, as though he was shocked to find it empty. A furrow appeared in his brow, and his mouth twisted.

 

“Steve? What’s wrong?” Bruce asked gently. Steve blinked rapidly and looked up, a look of alarm in his eyes.

 

“I-is that...normal now?” Clint had never heard the captain sound so unsure of himself.

 

Is what normal? Clint wondered, opening his mouth to ask, but Natasha beat him to it. “Is what normal, Steve?”

 

“That…” Steve looked back at the tv, looking lost. “They were kissing…?” He sounded like a child, not sure if he was allowed to ask something, not sure if he was going to get in trouble for wondering.

 

Natasha glared at Tony, who snapped his mouth shut, undoubtedly going to chip in with a quip about Steve’s old-fashioned-ness, not being able to handle a bit of kissing. “Steve, who was kissing?”

 

“It-it was… they were on the tv, is that allowed now?” If Clint didn’t know better, and maybe he didn’t, he’d say that Steve was on the verge of a panic attack, his breath coming unevenly.

 

Tony picked up the remote and pressed rewind, scanning for what could have set Steve off. Clint turned his attention back to Steve. Natasha and Bruce had led him to a couch, where he sat looking lost, staring at his hands.

  
“Is what allowed now?” Bruce asked softly, watching Steve carefully. Steve opened his mouth to reply, but a sharp exhale from Tony drew their attention. The inventor’s mouth was twisted, and a strange look had appeared in his eyes, which flickered between Steve, and the paused image on the screen.

 

...The image on the screen.

 

“Oh.” Clint’s mind simultaneously cleared, and grew more unsure. It made sense that Steve had reacted the way he did to what was happening on screen, but he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

 

“Steve--”

 

Steve shook his head rapidly, bearing an uncanny resemblance to a golden retriever shaking water from its fur. “Just, tell me. Is that allowed now?” Steve looked up at the screen again, an indecipherable look on his face as he stared at the image of two young men kissing.

 

“Steve, don’t…”

 

“Steve, didn’t anyone at SHIELD mention...anything about this to you? In your reintegration classes?” Natasha narrowed her eyes.

 

Steve snorted. “They never said a word about it.” He paused. “Though I guess I never technically finished them before the Chitauri attack.” He took another deep, shaking breath and looked down at his hands again. “Please just tell me.”

 

Bruce, Natasha, Clint, and a remarkably quiet Tony exchanged worried glances, before Clint took a steadying breath and replied. “Yes.” Steve snapped his head up and stared at him, an unfathomable sheen in his eyes.

 

“It’s not illegal anymore? Being...queer?” Clint had no idea what was going through the captain’s mind, but he responded warily.

 

“No, it’s not. It’s not completely accepted by everyone, but people are more or less okay with it now. Gay people-- that’s what the widespread term is now, I wouldn’t use queer-- are even allowed to get married now in some states.” Steve seemed to have stopped breathing, mouth slightly ajar. Clint grew concerned. He didn’t think Steve was homophobic, but coming from the time that he came from… He wasn’t sure what to think. He knew what he wanted to think, to hope, but he couldn’t place Steve’s expression.

 

“Look, Steve, if you have a problem with people being gay, I’m not sure…” Clint trailed off when the unthinkable happened. Steve let out a shuddering breath, burying his face in his hands… and laughed. Not laughs of hilarity, nor the dark chuckles he’s been known to let out when it all went to hell in a handbasket, but full on, hysterical laughs of… relief? The rest of the team stood in shock, not knowing how to respond to the sudden turn of events. Steve lifted his face from his hands, revealing a face made wet from the tears leaking from his eyes.

 

“Steve, what…” When Tony actually used Steve’s first name, that’s when Clint could tell things were serious.   
  


Steve scrubbed a hand across his face, “Christ, I wish Bucky was here.” His mouth twisted self-deprecatingly as he fiddled with his dogtags. Clint’s heart stopped. Firstly, Steve rarely talked about Bucky Barnes, tending to stop himself and change the topic if the subject of his best friend came up; Clint believed that Steve was still-- understandably-- grieving. Secondly, if Steve was saying what Clint thought he was saying…

 

“Steve, are you saying…” Bruce trailed off. “Were you and Barnes…?”

 

“Fonduing?” Steve snorted at his own comment, then sighed when he looked at their confused faces. He opened his mouth as though to speak, inhaled, then shut it again, clenching his fist around his dogtags once before removing them from his neck and holding them out, offering them up for examination. No one moved at first, but then Natasha reached out and took them gently from him as the others gathered around her to look.

 

At first glance, they appeared to be nothing special, just two tarnished, flat-edged, oval pieces of metal, with a notch on one end, and a hole for the chain to go through on the other. Then Clint looked closer. The top tag looked as he expected:

 

STEVEN G ROGERS

O-462362 T42 43 O

JAMES B BARNES

34 MIDDAGH ST

BROOKLYN, NY

                         C

 

But then he stopped and examined it closer. “Steve, why is Barnes’ name on your dog tags?”

 

“Next of kin.” Steve responded, a matter-of-fact, but melancholy tone to his voice.

 

“Next of kin? You didn’t have any family?” Bruce wondered.

 

Steve snorted. “You mean they didn’t cover this in your history textbooks?” he asked sarcastically, brushing his hair back with his hand agitatedly.

 

“You’re kidding me, right? Barely anyone knew anything about your life before you joined the army. Steve Rogers isn’t exactly a rare name, so most of it’s always been speculation based on what other people have said.” Tony pitched in. “Granted, I know more than most, since dear old dad knew you, but everyone’s pretty much in the dark here.” He paused. “Don’t tell me you’ve never tried to look yourself up?” he asked incredulously. Steve shook his head, looking slightly shocked.

 

“Never really wanted to. It seems strange.”

 

“That it is.”

 

"Bucky...Look," Steve sighed. "Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky. Even when my mam died, even the summer when we literally had nothing to our names besides a goddamn shack in a Hooverville by the river, we had each other." He drew in a shaky breath and grew silent for a minute. "That was all that really mattered." Steve looked up, blinking rapidly. "You have no idea what it means...what it would have meant...to us. This," he nodded at the tv, "would have gotten us killed or arrested. You say that it's not perfect yet, but fuck, the fact that marriage is even an option... That we could have had something beyond dog tags and a promise-" His breath hitched. It was probably the most that Clint had ever heard the captain speak. It was as though all of the things that he had kept bottled up were now spewing forth uncontrollably. He wondered if Steve had ever told this to anyone. Also, he was a bit distracted by the fact that Captain America said fuck.

 

"So that whole thing with Peggy Carter." Tony began, ignoring the others' glares. "Was that real?"

 

Steve sighed. "Peggy was...is amazing, and I really did love her, just...differently than with Buck. If I had survived the war, I'd have married her."

 

"Wait, what?"

 

"Bucky was seeing this girl back home in Brooklyn, he'd have asked her to marry him if he'd have come home. Lorraine- real sweet girl." He looked around at their faces, and huffed a laugh. "Do you really think that we could have gotten away with staying bachelors forever, living together? Someone would start asking questions, and next things you know, the cops are at the door." Clint tried to imagine living in that kind of fear, just for being who you are, knowing it could get you killed or arrested. Hearing it said by someone who was lived through it really hit Clint.

 

Steve sighed. "Look, it may seem strange to you, but that's how it worked. You keep your head down, get married to a nice girl like you're supposed to. Go to a queer bar and pray to God that no one reports you, especially if you end up in the alley or cruising at the navy yard." Surprise must have been evident in their faces, because Steve snorted.

 

"It's not like nobody knew it was going on. Everyone knew about the fairies at the Yard, and the St. George hotel, it's just that no one talked about it. No one could talk about it. Bucky and me... No one could know. I think my mam knew, or at least suspected, but she never said anything to me about it before she died..." He trailed off, seeming to come to himself and realize how much he was saying.

 

"It's in the past. Things are different now, and I can't go back. All I can do is move on now." He opened his mouth one last time as though to continue, but seemed to think better of it, standing abruptly and hurrying out of the room, leaving silence in his wake.

 

Clint looked down in thought, and realized what he was still holding. "Steve! You forgot your..." But something caught his eye before he could finish yelling after. Steve was long out of earshot anyway. The dog tags had shifted in his hand when he moved, and the second tag was now visible. His heart clenched when he realized the truth of what Steve has said, and how deep it had been.

 

"Oh Steve..."

 

JAMES B BARNES

32557038 T42 43 A

STEVEN G ROGERS

34 MIDDAGH ST

BROOKLYN, NY

                         C

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you liked this! It turned out a lot sadder than I had anticipated, but I hope it turned out alright! Give me feedback please!


End file.
